a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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