haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
