they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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