His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize