I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You pole danced in your parka.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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