so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
