I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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