We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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