I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
