Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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