do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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