We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
