I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
