I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
jump out the window naked night went bad
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
