He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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