I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
