i just wanna soil my oats bro
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
