Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
