ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
