I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
