All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
