If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
