All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
