I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
