You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Of course I have a pirate flag
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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