Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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