there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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