the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
