So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
