"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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