Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
so much tequila, so little girl.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
