Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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