I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
