She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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