operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
