I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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