I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
