ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
