I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I will be naked everywhere
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
