a queef is a wish your heart makes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
