it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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