i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
