Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
