dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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