the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
