please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
