North Korea, Best Korea!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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