dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
