foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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