He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
