Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
