it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just had sex on a roof
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
