I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize