I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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