Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
