What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
