So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
