So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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