Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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