I wannas sexs uuuuu
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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