her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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