i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize