you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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