Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
