New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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