Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
