She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
