yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
