You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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