There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
