She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
