I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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