i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
