That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
