Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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