i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
