Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
