She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
