im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
